Zoicks, and Away

'Twas midnight on the ocean, not a boxcar was in sight
I stepped into a pawnshop to get myself a light
The man behind the counter was a woman old and gray
Who used to peddle shoestrings on the road to Mandalay

"Good evening, sir," the woman said, her eyes were filled with tears
She stuck her head between her legs and stayed that way for years
Her children six were orphans, all except the tiny tot
Who lived in the house across the street above the vacant lot

'Twas the song the alligators sang while coming through the rye
To serenade the elephants up in the trees so high
The iceman hummed their ditty as he shoveled in the coal
And the monkeys joined the chorus up around the northern pole

While the organ pealed potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir
As the sexton rang the dishrag, someone set the church on fire
"Holy smoke!" the preacher shouted, in the rush he lost his hair
Now his head resembles heaven, for there is no parting there

Can you tell a man who's just struck gold to straighten up his tie?
Can the mighty master yodeler chuck wood as well as I?
Can the sticky solemn ciphers leave their handprints in the snow?
The tests are underway, you'll be among the first to know

For Elsie